We, out of habit, associate this term with a career, but burnout can arise in family life, in motherhood, and even in creativity. How to recognize it? How to distinguish from depression? And most importantly, how to deal with it?
Most of us are sure that burnout is about someone else. I myself thought the same. With the word “burnout”, I mentally represented an empty aluminum sleeve from under a tea candle, and in it, on the bottom, the rest of the burned wick. No, this is definitely not about me. It seems to us that such things happen only with those who work for days for wear, literally burns at work. We habitually explain our own state with fatigue, but this is the quiet insidiousness of burnout – it creeps up unnoticed.
At some point, you understand that only the same burned wick remained from the warm flame inside. When I myself noticed the symptoms of burnout? Probably when positive emotions disappeared, and their place was taken by slight irritation. “Is it really? Can’t be! I am a psychologist!”
I was convinced of the correctness of my suspicions later when I myself came to psychotherapy. Remember the old joke about fake Christmas toys, which everything is in order with, but they “do not delight”? So I had the same. It’s not that they did not please, but I did not want to get involved in the New Year’s bustle, put a Christmas tree, decorate the house, run after gifts. And after the New Year holidays, nothing has changed. Then it became clear that it was time to change something.
In my case, the “candle” not all burned out. The word “burnout” very accurately indicates what is happening in a person inside – he feels precisely scorched. At first, this may not be particularly noticeable: well, a person does not have a mood. Well, no strength, no emotions. Think about it, it happens with everyone, everyone is getting tired, and in general life is a difficult thing.
So that it does not hurt, the psyche turns off emotions, protecting itself. The body begins to work in energy conservation mode
But if you missed the first calls, then over time, the thin sound of a warning bell turns into a deafening ringing. There is a feeling of anxiety, dissatisfaction with everyone and all. I don’t want to communicate even with loved ones. Work that was previously in joy, no longer like. What brought joy and pleasure begins to annoy more and more. Gradually irritation to colleagues and loved ones increases, self -esteem falls. Attacks of despair appear.
In this state, communicating with people is becoming more and more difficult. The world is drawn in black and gray colors. Everything is perceived intensively, painful. And so that it does not hurt, the psyche turns off emotions, protecting itself. The body begins to work in energy conservation mode, consuming strength only on the most necessary. To ensure vital processes. And then indifference comes to everything. This is the same deafening ringing.
It is important to remember that the resources of the psyche and body are not endless. For example, we cannot wake up for a long time, the body needs a dream. Laying out at work every day 100% is also impossible. Each of us has its own limit, and it depends on so many factors. From a person’s lifestyle, from what situation he is now, from the time of year and time of day.
For example, we spend much more strength on communication with unpleasant people than usual. And if a person regularly crosses this limit, exhaustion begins, and behind him and burnout.
Depression is based on fear, the basis of burnout is anger. The symptoms are so similar that it can be difficult for specialists to distinguish them
From the point of view of psychosomatics, one who had a bad relationship with the parent of the same gender suffers from burnout from burnout. This situation in the family becomes the foundation of many problems. The child with all his might tries to earn the attention of parents, earn their love. And continues to do this, already becoming adults. For example, it takes the role of his parent to the boss and tries to earn his love or at least
recognition of his merits. If this does not happen, self -esteem falls, faith evaporates. There is a feeling of futility of efforts. “I seem to fight with windmills,” one of my clients described this condition with such words.
It was used to believe that burnout can be caused only by work. But now I am increasingly observing the burnout in the family. This happens when you do not enjoy what you are doing for the family. When your contribution exceeds the return. Everything that you do is perceived for granted. Although both the work in the family and the work in the office have a lot in common. By and large, the family is also work, only seven days a week.
Many of my clients complain that they do not receive support from loved ones. It seems to the woman that she is doomed to “pull the strap”. In the evening you say to the family that you are tired, and in response you hear: “And what did you do all day? You are sitting at home!”
After these words, there is a feeling of helplessness, resentment, hopelessness and – most often – anger. It is he who stands for resentment and helplessness. This is, in my opinion, the main difference between the syndrome of emotional burnout and depression. Depression is based on fear, the basis of burnout is anger. The symptoms are so similar that it can be difficult for specialists to distinguish them.
For most women who have chosen their family their main occupation, burnout has become real. Fighting is also possible for creative people, in those circles where there is stringent competition, for example, in the modeling business.
Usually people with emotional burnout syndrome turn to specialists, when there is no longer the strength, no desires, no emotions. In this state, a person ceases to take care of himself primarily about himself. But it is through this concern that the path to recovery lies.
How to return to a “normal” state, turn from a black wick back into an even and beautiful flame?
1. We help with an inner child. How the parent expresses love? Basically, through the body: affectionate touches, stroking, hugs. And this is the first thing you can do yourself. Pay attention to your body. Make a self -massage. The body rubbing with a brush from the bottom up is very good at lymph. Another option is patting along the meridians, which go on hands and feet from top to bottom and bottom. You can simply massage your neck and shoulders at the moment when you felt tired in the middle of a working day.
2. We leave working problems at work. How? With the help of clothes. Returning home from work, change clothes. Straightaway. Favorite, comfortable and beautiful. The changing ritual can turn on or off the role that is so energy consumption for you. If you have interchangeable shoes at work, then re -expression at the end of the day can become this very ritual: ending with work, you shoot “working” shoes, and with it you leave all working problems in the office. So at home. Putting at home clothes, you seem to turn on the role that is needed at the moment: housewives, mom, beloved wife.
3. We meditate. This is a daily practice of cleansing the mind. It is the restless mind that creates the tension that draws all our forces. Pay attention to this.
